"I've given up on relationships long ago, so at any given time, I might be trying to get with multiple girls at once (without them knowing about each other.) Right now, there's three girls on my "list." Just to clarify, none of them are anybody I'd be proud of fucking, so this list isn't anything amazing. "

That's his latest post. The rest of it's the typical lackadaisical complaint of some naive girl who thinks he's all over her and made a perfectly reasonable mistake of telling her friends. Well of course he's going to be an ass about it and make fun of her for something that any girl would do. Too bad for her, really, I'd hate to be on the receiving end of his conundrum.

I'm trying to brush it off and not think too much into it. I won't have him till, well, I have him.... so there's no stopping him from being who he is, doing what he does. My stepping into his life - though it's a surprise to him- wont change anything. I'm pretty sure he'd make a conscious effort to deliberate his courses of action and choose exactly what he'd do had I not existed.

But I sure as hell hope I'm not one of these three girls that he'd not 'be proud of fucking". Not to say the inverse of that statement, but in "get with" which he later adds on "I was going to give it a shot, and if it didn't work out, whatever" it's contradictory. I thought he'd given up on relationships. And why would he try to give it a shot with someone he finds "ugly" "inane" "boring" etc.??? Does he mean give it a shot at getting her in bed??

I have to find another focus. I have to learn to distribute the sources that bring me happiness...

Meanwhile, since I'm already so forward about him, and I'm not on campus anymore.. I can pretty much do whatever I want. I think.