because i said i'd share with some of you, ha. it was full of sex/homosexuality related funnies, weirddd coincidence. pretty funny.

- library: i actually came across that gay guy on yelp. i have an account and sometimes i browse through the 'talk' section, and there are some serious yelpers with no lives, seriously. they LIVE on yelp, and they know each other for making snarky comments and whatnot. and lord of the yelpers is this gay librarian and i actually saw him... i think he's anorexic. he's not as "loud" as he comes off online, a lot more gawky/dorky.

- argo tea: this dumbass girl announcing it to the whole shop that her and her new man 'just can't stop fucking'. she was talking over the machines- the louder the latte frother got, the louder her voice became. she sounded like she was happy but was genuinely worried he was going to break her vaj or something. that's great but there are northwestern law students working on their papers and me trying to wrap my head around some of the more complicated verses of nabokov and i can't fucking do that when this fucking girl is blabbing nonstop about her fucking her fucking horny bf.

- tiffany's & co: i got my big a "i love you" ring- engraved in silver. so i asked for it in the store after having pre-determined what i was going to purchase the night before online, and the gay man with a face the size of my fist and perfect dirty blonde hair gets it for me. "mmmmmmmmmmMMMMM what perfume are you wearing?" "hermes, sur le nil" "waittt a minute, isn't that unisex?" "i think so" "ugh nevermind". LOL i don't know if it's cus he'd rather wear women's or men's. it was just really funny to me how severely pissed off he was by it and was swiping my credit card like he was sharpening a knife . LOL what the fuck??

- on the way to papyrus: so i'm crossing michigan ave to get to water tower place, and a group of three drop.dead.gorgeous. model-esque men are loitering around borders. i was getting butterflies in my stomach and getting self-conscious when out of nowhere one approached me. apparently, they're from a salon and were looking for clients who were willing to 'change up (their) style for 90% off'. i politely refused and even gathered up my hypothetical balls up to make eye contact with this beautiful creature. OK I GUESS IT WORKED bc after* i crossed the street, i heard "miss" and this other one, this italian-looking one, asked "are you sureeee, it won't be drastic if you don't want a huge change, he [gives a look across the street where the rest are still standing] would love to see you there]" omg! i accepted the card.. and told him i'd call. i most likely wont.

- bank of america @ the location that i got my car towed in past october: the african-am lady behind the counter there knows me bc i ended up crying and asking for "transfers from savings to checking", and she came around to give me a hug and call me honey. now, every time i'm in there she calls me "sweetheart" and makes me feel like i'm the black daughter she never had. i was there to make a deposit.
also working there is this manager- tall, lean, and screaming gay. impeccably dressed, talking/walking fast with a nasal tone, constant pointing/flicking of the wrists.. he comes behind the counter, and i guess he was arguing with his "wife" bc the curvy just as good looking white woman hisses "we'll talk when we get home, SWEETIE".
okay- this friking crazy. was my expression that obvious?? and what gave my black mom the UNcommon sense to say what she said to me??
" I KNOW, HE'S STRRRRRAIGHT!!" hahahahahahhaha!!!! oh my godddddd.... the couple heard of course, but didn't say anything and then they just walked away. jesus christ. i said nothing, and i think my black mom was worried she just got herself in shit. LOL omgomgogmasd;flkja;lsdjk unbelievable....

the end.